How to feel happy even when you’re suffering?

We all suffer everyday. If you’re rich then you’ll suffer from the pressures of being perfect. If you’re poor, you suffer from starvation and insufficiency. If you’re middle class, you suffer from being able to upgrade your level and God knows how many more pressures. Being a student, you have a constant pressure to Excell, being an employee you have the constant pressure of work and being better than your peers.

Now the thing is, we all suffer way too often than we actually rejoice. Your happiness is just like a girl on periods, very moody. We get pinches of happiness here and there but still we somehow or the other, always end up suffering. We work damn hard everyday to achieve the short term happiness. Why? Because living in the society we need to be willing to let go of some things to achieve stuff which probably doesn’t even matter that much in our life, in the long run.

Look..even now, if you’re happy, you still are missing on something, but you choose to ignore that unhappiness and discontentment to enjoy the present happiness.

Like for example, consider you’re an employee in a company, you put your blood and sweat into expanding the company. You lost a lot of weight in the process and even a bags under your eye because you dedicated all your time to that company, in the end, you get rewarded by a promotion and a better salary. What will you do now? Cry for your weight loss? Or celebrate for the hard work that paid off? Obviously celebrate!

You get the message don’t you? I mean, if we are suffering all the time, then also sometimes we are willing to forget the sufferings and be happy. We do this because we prefer some things more than others.

This is the sole reason why we should do stuff we love. When you do stuff you love then the sufferings surely won’t go away but they won’t seem that big of a deal.

So you’ll eventually stop caring about your sufferings and start focussing on your happiness. And if y’all have read my previous blogs then you probably know how Important it is to be positive, and trust me being happy is the easiest way to bring positivity in your life.

So do what you like the most to actually feel happier even during your sufferings.

Thank you!

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How can “Me time” help us?

Now according to most self help books, we should focus on gratitude and abundance of what we have. Alongside we should also assume we have the things we desire and constantly do affirmations to have them in real life.

Now if you’ve ever practiced this, I’m sure you know that when we are being grateful about what we have we are giving our subconscious mind / psyche a bit of relief and by keeping ourselves busy by thinking about our desire we eventually start to work for it.

But from my experience, it’s not always true. I believe that always assuming that you have the things you want can lead to you being a little too relaxed about your desire making you not work just as hard.

So…then, what to do?

Well, I believe that we should spend a ton of time on ourselves and exclude out the whole world, including your family. But when you are having your “me” time then do not touch your phone or anything that distracts you. In this me time, you should think about yourself and what change do you want in yourself. This need not be done in the form of meditation, you can very well do this while walking, singing, playing. The sole purpose is that you need to spend time with yourself a little more often and think about yourself.

What will this do?

This will make you think about all your assets and short comings and you’ll start to understand yourself better. If you do this “me time” for a longer period then you’ll also come up with amazing solutions to tackle your problems and short comings. You’ll start thinking of innovative ideas to actually solve the problem than, as recommended by self help books, just thinking that the problem is solved.

Now this might seem a long process and I agree it is a long one but you can always make it shorter by applying the famous “affirmations rule”. But focus on affirmations the least and give it a maximum of 10 minutes. This way you can speed up the process to self improvement and self empowerment whilst satisfying your psyche by doing affirmations.

This does has a limitation though.

Having a lot of “me time” can make you a loner and you might feel isolated. You don’t have to force yourself to shut up. If you’re blubbering mess then no need to change yourself. Just make sure to spend some amount of time to yourself for having a peace of mind and being contented.

Now people often find their happiness in the time they spend thinking about themselves, so it’s natural to not pay much attention to the world. But the thing is, by spending too much time by yourself, you can become a very socially awkward person. As good as it feels to be yourself and in your own little world, you still have a life to live and you still have a society to face. This society wouldn’t hesitate one single bit to push you out or neglect you if you completely stop socializing.

So make sure to watch the time you spend on yourself.

To the previous generation….

Read this short story for the understanding of today’s topic.

It’s been a few days and one of my best friend looks upset all the freaking time. Many people tried to approach her to ask her about her problem but she just snaps back at them. I was being a good friend by giving her the space she wants. But there is a limit to everything. One day I just got impatient and approached her and asked her about her problem like everyone else was asking. After much convincing was I finally able to get her open up. She said

“You know already that my parents are not happy about my relationship with Aadi and my mom literally hates our guts.”

I nodded my head in agreement but she continued on without listening anyway.

“She literally taunts me at every possible opportunity to make me feel guilty and she didn’t speak to me for days after knowing we’re together.” She put her hands up in exasperation.

I tried to calm her down but she already had tears streaming down her face “We love each other! Can’t she see that?! We’ve been together for 4 years!”

Then she took deep breaths and said “My cousin came over yesterday and my mother was constantly teasing him about his ‘girlfriend’ she does that all the time! But now that she knows about our relationship, AND she made a pretty BIG deal about it. She still is teasing him all the time!

She stopped shrieking and then she continued in a dead calm voice. “I don’t expect my mother to say that having a relationship at 18 is right. But at least she should have some emotion, some softness in her heart to NOT tease my 16 year old brother about his girlfriend.”

I felt bad for her. I felt sympathetic. But mostly I felt empathetic towards her. The reason being? Well let’s say it happens in every middle-class and upper middle class house. My house being no exception.

What parents don’t understand is, that teaching their girls to be good in studies and be successful is not enough. Enrolling their kids in a good school is not enough.

You need to educate yourself about allowing your children to have the same privileges as the opposite gender. Make them feel equal and generous instead of inferior or superior. Let them live their life and support them throughout their life.

Look, there is a huge gap between our parents and us. So it’s quite obvious that some things cannot be understood by them which might seem very obvious to us. We needn’t shout at our parents, laugh at them or fight with them. We must stay by their side and explain the things which have changed over one generation.

I’m sure that some of us will face problems doing this but we must try to our fullest before assuming that they won’t understand us.

The reason why most teenagers are misunderstood is not because they can’t express but because the generation gap is causing a lot of problems to their daily life.

I’m writing this blog in hope to make the people, who aren’t comfortable with girls having boyfriends but are very casual about guys being in a relationship, aware about the changing world and trend. Gone are the days when girls used to be suppressed all the time. Now they are coming out, breaking free of their barriers and making their life at par with the boys. But this is not possible without the support of parents or family as a whole.

Thank you!

An epitome of perfection!

What if I say that I know a person who is more than perfect?A girl who faced the ups and downs and still is as up and erect as if she was born yesterday to complete her work.

I know this girl who doesn’t like expressing love but is the most softest and affectionate person I know. This person doesn’t think there’s anything that can stop her from reaching up the skies and making herself happy. She thinks of herself as a flawed yet a satisfied person.

She’s had failures which any normally brilliant person would deny or cry about, but she? Well she just embraces those failures and laughs at them saying how stupid she was and works f*king hard to get over these failures day by day. She hates to be underestimated and loves to make her frenemies jealous.

She can be misunderstood quite easily but once you look deep inside her soul, she is as pure and as flawless as a normal person can certainly not be.

She wants to live and travel till her last breath but is bounded by invisible strings that she and only she can ever break. She works hard day and night, being a perfect daughter, a great girlfriend and an amazing sister.

She knows more than she says. She aches more than she lets on. She is an epitome of “perfection and perseverance”. She makes her decisions crystal clear and doesn’t look back in her life to repent. She tries to make people happy but behaves like she’s just being herself and that she doesn’t give a damn. She has a very annoying sister who is a lazy ass but still loves that sister unconditionally.

She’s fat but yet pretty in a way every fat girl would want to be. All her “friends” ever did with her was be jealous of her for her success. Her so called well wishers- aunties and uncles tried to make her unconfident over and over again. She heard ’em all and Is unfortunately still bearing them. She breaks friendships not because she’s a bitch but because she knows better than to fill her peer group with toxic people. She’s called unfriendly not because she is ignorant but because she learnt a very important life lesson at just the age of 21 of moving on and forgetting people who don’t matter in the long run.

She’s so misunderstood that anyone else could die but she? Well she knew better than to die for the assumptions made by stupid people who know absolutely nothing about her, even though they claimed to know her “all to well”.

This person is an angel in the form of an elder sister I’m blessed with.

Why should Youngadults be generous?

Nowadays everyone wants to do something big, something unheard of and something that’s able to create an impact in this world. Why? Because we think that making an impact makes us famous, happier and maybe rich in some cases. As selfish as it sounds, it’s the truth. There are very less people who practice gratitude or participate in community service out of interest, the rest basically do these things for their own selfishness. Before when the colleges and companies didn’t care about our generosity, I highly doubt that more than 1-2% young adults in this world used to indulge in these noble activities. The reason in increased participation is our C.V. This really sounds bad but when you look at it there is a positive side to it. People are starting to like serving the unprivileged and even though they are doing this stuff for their C.V, it is greatly helping the people who are unprivileged.

It’s very easy to criticise those who are doing all this out of selfishness but what about those who aren’t doing this at all? They are the ones who need to be taught to be generous. It seems cliché to teach people the feeling of generosity but in a world like the one we are living today, we need to make people generous since they are our future and if they aren’t generous then there will be “middle class” as the gap between the rich and poor will increase and serving the people will become a thing that only the purest of souls do.

Definition of failure

To be honest I always wondered as a kid as to why all of us fail. Please do Notice I wrote all and not some, the reason why we all fail is because we care too much about others’ opinion. We could literally erase the word failing from our life, but only if we know about ourselves and are certain about our own thoughts. We only fail because we don’t truly believe in our ability to succeed. If you’re certain about your ability to succeed then nothing can stop you from succeeding. The process of trying again and again with greater enthusiasm and determination is what is success. Failing on the other hand refers to “not being satisfied with the end results “. We think success is opposite of failure, but no guys, success is the process which requires regular failure. Failing isn’t a sin, it isn’t bad, in fact, it only ensures that you are on the correct path in your career.

Nowadays people get influenced by others’ (basically their haters) and change the definition of failure. They stop dreaming, they think they’ll fail even before they’ve tried! Like why? If the Great Indian author, Chetan Bhagat can be a below average student in 10th with about 70% and still clear IIT and IIM, with his strong determination, then why do we think that we’re any less?

I’ll tell you the truth. Believe it or not, you all can thrive and achieve your dreams and you are blessed with an amazing life, so stop wasting this time you’ve got to live by fearing to fail, for failure is inevitable if you ever wanna succeed.

Thanks!

Is Implementation that necessary..?

Hey guys!

Now, if you guys have been reading my blogs for a while, you probably know that I share my experiences and views about certain topics and help today’s increasingly depressed youth in not only becoming self motivated but also gain self esteem.

The first thing I’d like to clear about my blog is that I’m not always motivated. I make myself motivated enough to work my ass off for any given task. How? Well the desire to experiment and implement is what has helped me in becoming a much better person than I was before I started writing these blogs.

My sole reason to write blogs was to make myself a busy (’cause I had all the time in the world😉). But later I realized how writing stuff I believe in, and sharing them with others helps me to apply the same with myself. Yes, in many of my blogs, I have written my thoughts first and then applied them. But the good part is that I usually have to apply it otherwise I feel like a boastful person with fake credit.

What I’ve learnt by implementing all the self-help advices that I’ve somehow known in my life, is that in the end, if you truly believe in anything be it some kind of superstition or an actual scientific fact, it actually happens.

I truly believed that I’m multi talented. Boastful much? Haha no, It’s just something I believe since doing just one thing never appeals to me. So I started thinking of myself as a very multitasking and talented girl and you know what happened? I started attracting all opportunities that I wanted to have. I’m a part of TED club, rotaract club, English theatre, participated in MUN, doing all this, I’m still a good student. Like maybe not a straight A student but my overall result is always an A1 or A2.

I’ve always liked the way successful people give TED talks and guess what? To my surprise, I’ve been selected (in my whole school with the strength of about 450 students in only the sophomore year)along with 4-5 other people, to deliver a TED talk in my school at the age of 16! Other than this, I always wanted to help in social issues, and even thought the entry to rotaract club is from age group 17, the daughter of the president asked me day before yesterday if I’d like to be a part of it and I said YES like any sane person would in my place. I attracted these opportunities because I believed in my worth and I always visualised a better version of myself. But had I not started implementing the idea of true belief, I wouldn’t be getting these opportunities.

1 year ago, I participated in nothing and was a nobody to everyone other than the people who knew me because of me getting medals in karate in my society and my friends. But look at me now! I’m attracting all the good stuff happening to me.

So I’d just like to say that whatever you read, be it a superstition or an actual fact, if you don’t fully believe in it and implement it in your life, nothing good or bad will happen to you.

Thank you!

Can the power of your Subconscious betray you ?

I was confused but so was relieved at the same time. I often wonder as to why should I always be clear. I was confused for I knew nothing about what I want other than a place where I can flourish. I was relieved as I knew that I’ll find a way out of this frustrating confusion.

It was my inner belief that lead me to procrastinate everyday. It was the same sub conscious which was supposed to save me that betrayed me. After all this, there is one thing which I’m sure of, it is that In cases of confusion, calmness doesn’t work unless you do. The “belief” that people build without taking steps to achieve what they want is nothing but another excuse for procrastination.

You can control your life only if you can coordinate correctly with your mind and actions

Which means that just believing or just working hard won’t get you to the desired place. Only when you learn to make the two work in sync can you reach your goal.

Book Review : MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.

Book Name- Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Author- John Gray

Rating- 5/5

Genre- Self Help

I think that this novel has a unique idea about the psychological differences between men and women. Though we don’t get the exact reason behind these differences, yet the way in which the author presents the differences is unimaginable and relatable. Who would have thought that Gray would explain the difference in the way of thinking of men and women by claiming men to be Marsians (people from mars) ans women to be Venusians (people from Venus). In this book, there are various topics discussed, basically on why the opposite gender acts the way it does? for instance, why do most women fantasize about romance while most men are fascinated with cars and video games. Of course there might be exceptions to these facts. This book only gives an overview of the behaviour of about 80% of people.

I think it’s a must read for all people in relationships. And if you’re not in a relationship then it’s even better as you’ll know how to face the opposite gender in different situations.

This book was suggested by one of my followers on Mad Bookishness and it seemed a little weird by the name. And it seems ironical, considering I just called the name weird, yet this name only influenced me to read it.

Guys, I actually reposted this post from my other blog, Mad Bookishness, I’d like to know if you’d like me to review books on this site or on mad bookishness?

Thank you!

What’s the right question?

Whenever I wanna do something new or something rare then I ask ” How do I do this?” That’s a pretty popular response to a new problem. It’s not because I don’t know how to do it, it’s because I don’t believe myself enough to just get on with it. I always doubt myself before doing something that’s completely new or very rare, which is okay. There is not problem if you doubt yourself in these circumstances given that you’re asking the right question.

What do I mean? How can a question be right? A question is a question, there is no right or wrong there when you ask a question, right?

Well no. There are certain conditions in which you should know which question is the right question to ask. In other words, knowing which question leads to the answer you want is very important. So then what is the right question? How can we get out of a problem? Well let us replace the “how” with a “why”.

If you ask yourself before doing anything that why do you want to do it then you’ll get to the depth of your intentions as well as be more confident than you’ve ever been about the situation. While ask yourself the question, don’t lie to yourself ’cause this question is an important one and most of the time the truthful answer to this question comes out something which we’d rather not think about. If you wanna start a business, ask yourself why do you wanna start a business. Is it because of money, or fame or is it because you want to do something of your own. If you wanna quit your college education then ask yourself why. Is it because you’re running away from studies, or friends, or is it because you have a great plan that you want to implement but can’t wait till your college finishes. The level of satisfaction that you get on answering your own questions is something totally subjective.

It’s not important to be passionate about what your doing ( since passion isnt something you’ll figure out soon if you’re among those 90% frustrated people) but it’s very important to be sure about the intentions behind what you’re doing.

I try to apply this concept in my life as well. And it sure as hell has helped me to a great extent by making me realise the consequences of my rash decisions.

Thank you!

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