Better version.

This fire inside me is deadly.
The feelings of frustration, anger, and recklessness which I once thought were foreign to me, have started to consume me.

It’s like, they’re eating up all my energy.
The fire inside me is slowly turning into an unpleasant emotion.
An emotion I can’t decipher myself.
It’s something I loathed. I hated being the person who emits a negative vibe. I hated people who spread cynicism.

But that’s precisely how I’ve started to live my life.
A cynical life.

A life that drowns people in and stops them from reaching their full potential.
But it’s not my fault.
No.
This isn’t my fault.

There’s something in my environment.
Wherever I see. Whatever I observe, has a negative element to it.
But is it my environment?
The 21st century is considered to be a bad time for humanity. But has humanity died altogether?
Or is this just my pessimistic mindset which forces me to take in all the negativity?

I used to be a very positive person. Someone, who can make you believe in yourself.
But now, it’s like I don’t know what self-confidence is. I don’t know how to believe in myself.
All these ideas and concepts seem far-fetched and unreal.

Were they ever real, anyway?
Or was I just naïve?

I don’t want this rant to make sense to anyone. This one’s for me, to me.

There was a time, I was uncertain of my ability to inspire and motivate people. The reason being, I thought I was too young.
But now, when I read my posts which I wrote a year ago, I’ve learned to respect my work. My younger self.
At least she was confident and resilient.
At least she didn’t give up.
At least she believed in herself.

She was a gem. She was a better version of me.

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