Yes it made me uncomfortable. It made me wanna rewind and get back to my old, normal life.
But there is a voice. Like, a small whisper, asking me to stay. To persist. Some days, I’d ignore it and bawl my eyes out, Other days I’d crib and hate myself for choosing this path.
Who likes the road not taken, after all? What’s so cool about doing something out of ordinary. As fancy as it seemed, to do something of my own, to create something I know I’d admire, to make my dream come true; I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the hate I recieve.
People who underestimate me used to piss me off the most. But now, somehow, everything they say makes some sense.
After years of no progress, it breaks my heart to hear their condemning voice. To listen to their rants about “my stupidity”.
What if they’re right?
Maybe I made a mistake.
After all the hardwork and sleepless nights I’ve put into this project, I do deserve some reward. I deserve to see some results. Is all my struggle in vain?
But then, amidst all the self doubting thoughts in my chaotic mind, there’s a small voice making me do what I do. It makes me get up every morning, work long after midnight (even when I’m consumed with fatigue).
This voice, it’s divine (for me). It gives me hope which the exterior world can’t. It helps me cope up with all the negativity around me. Over the years, I’ve learnt to use this voice as a defense. I’ve learnt to embrace it, listen to it. Trust it.
Yes, sometimes I feel incredulous for even dreaming about building something so out of ordinary. But I also know that this is my best shot at happiness. At life.
The happiness I feel while working, gives me enough reason to trust this voice. It makes me feel dizzy with pleasure;I don’t know how long will it take, for me to finally see my dream come true. But I know that is if I don’t try then maybe, years later, when I’d be lying on my death bed, I’d be regretting. I’ll regret for giving up too soon and not giving my dreams a chance.
If it’s consistent hardwork what’s gonna make people successful, then why put all my energy and time to something which doesn’t excite me?
Maybe these critics are right. Maybe all my work IS for nothing, but the happiness and satisfaction I feel, the euphoric state I’m in, while I’m working; I doubt I’ll feel the same while wokring in a 9 to 5, where I’ll have a boss making me work hard for the stuff I’m not even passionate about!
~ An Entrepreneur