Often times we read all these success and failure stories of people and feel like we need to live every moment. Either enjoying the success or working hard to get there. We are always expected to always be working.
If you’re in a job, you’re always striving to impress your boss, get a promotion or struggling to complete your targets. If you’re in university/school, you’re always working hard to keep up with the rigour and get into best universities for higher education. You’re always expected to work hard and work regularly to be successful.
But what if you just can’t work that much and that often?
What if you’re frustrated because life seems to be throwing shit at you?
What if the anxiety of the unforeseeable future, effects you’re mental health?
Should you still strive and work your ass off to be “successful” in these circumstances?
Hell no! If you don’t have a death wish (which I hope you don’t) then I think working hard in these conditions is really impractical and can negatively impact your both physical and mental being.
I was anxious about my future and it drastically affected my both physical and mental heath. I became mentally weak and fragile and also lost my appetite. From being an enthusiastic foodie, I became a sulking zombie.
Of course! I never let anyone know about this side of my life. But with time, I realized that I was being really foolish by putting so much pressure on myself.
Sometimes, life seems unfair. It seems depressing and All you can see are a dead ends.
The good thing here is, you’re not alone. Everyone has faced this sometime in their life. Maybe you think no one will understand you and you’re all alone, but trust me, the people you think have no idea about your problems sometimes are going through worse and can really be of help if you know how to ask for it.
Don’t just start telling people how sad and frustrated you are. You don’t want people to use your vulnerability as an opportunity. Just indirectly and hypothetically ask for help.
The unpleasant thing is, most of these people would not be as experienced and even though they’ll sympathise and empathise with you, they wouldn’t know what you exactly need, which would lead to them giving you pathetic advises like,
“A fighter never loses hope”,
“you’re strong, don’t act so weak.”
“All this is a part of life, don’t take this seriously and move on”
All these advises really help. But only temporarily. They will eventually become some sort of motivation which you seek from YouTube videos and self help books.
So then what to do?
Well, if you think that you’re stuck or that you’ve become vulnerable, then just try and survive in present. Detach yourself from future and from your past. Reminiscing past is fine, as long as you’re reflecting your mistakes or introspecting. But if you think about all your meaningless flings or about the way your teacher insulted you then that’s really a waste of time. Thinking in the future is no better.
Well when we think in future then we are both, wasting our present and are thinking about something which hasn’t yet happened and might never happen for that matter.
When we are anxious, we are constantly worrying about what will happen. We start thinking along these lines,
“What will people say if I do this?”
“Will I get into Harvard or not?”
“It would be so nice to have a nice long weekend in Bhutan after I can afford it.”
Thinking about all this, either makes us happy or it gets us really worked up about our future.
Now you’ll say, “okay Arushi, I get it why we shouldn’t fret about the future but what’s the harm in thinking positive?”
Well many of you might’ve heard of the book “Secret” written by Rhonda Byrne. It follows a concept of law of attraction, according to which, you get what you attract. What I mean is, if you want to be rich then by constantly affirming, you start to act on your thoughts and this makes you rich.
So having positive thoughts about future is fine and can sometimes help you, as claimed by Byrne in her infamous book. But we all must remember that this affirmation and daydreaming shan’t consume a lot of our time. Spending 10 – 15 minutes a day affirming or spending your free time doing so if perfectly fine and can be beneficial but spending the time, when you can actually work and get things done and live In the present, in daydreaming will not get you anywhere and will ultimately make you mythical and lazy. You’ll start to procrastinate even more than your level of procrastination now.
But what if you don’t feel good enough to affirm?
What if you’re affirming daily but see no results?
In these times, unwinding yourself from your current state and leaving the hustle, pausing for a bit, taking, one step at a time and just trying to survive would do wonders for you.
Sometimes, when we are struggling really hard and have to fight too many internal battles, then just withdrawing yourself from the rat race and being able to just merely survive and slow down for a bit is really what we need.
So instead of trying to live and constantly hustle, merely surviving and self reflecting our circumstances and ourselves help us better.