Why do some people hate and others love self help books? (Subjective)

Self help is a genre that has extreme reviews. Some people either love it with all of their heart or they hate it with all of their heart.
The extent of hating self help:
Because when you read self help then you’re not being imaginative or creative, all you are doing is basically reading information, processing it and trying to understand the deep meanings. You often get bored while doing this, because its as if you’re reading a course book. The only difference that remains between reading this self help and your course book is that self helps are a bit more interesting and you Do it at your own expense. You can’t blame anyone else for reading self help. You basically take responsibility for it. That’s why even the haters don’t hate it as much as they hate course books. Because when you take responsibility for something then you’re basically taking all the blame or complements that come with it and besides, no one wants to be wrong ,right? So that’s another reason why people don’t hate it just as much as they say they do.
Now, the question arises,
Why do they hate self help books?
Like this is a valid question but it’s also a pretty subjective question. People have their own views and reasons as to why they hate self helps.
  1. But one very important reason that comes with hating self help and that is, the fear of change. This can be a pretty unconscious thought and thus we might not Even understand it but this IS always present. People are afraid to change. All self helps talk about is accepting the harsh realities of life and changing yourself. We become so overwhelmed that we start thinking in a different manner altogether. We start belittling ourselves which results in us getting the wrong idea from these books. We start getting overwhelmed and thinking that we’re not good enough.
  1. The second reason why some people don’t like self helps is that they’re not accustomed to be told what to do. They don’t like being told that they’re full of bullshit. They don’t want to understand and agree that there are Certain values that they possess which are all messed up.
  1. The third reason is that some people don’t like such heavy life changing books. They like light and easy to read and enjoy books. These people have the tendency to think of these self helps as no less than an encyclopedia. They are mostly people who’re looking for stress busters and want to clear their mind. Or these people might be one of those who hate studying in general. Since reading self help is basically studying since you do the exact same stuff. You read, you understand, you visualize and then you try to remember the concept to change your life. These category of people find it extensively boring to do so. Which again is completely okay as long as they are happy and contented, because in the end that’s all matters.
The extent of loving self help books –
When you’re reading a self help book or a simple educational book then your sole person is to learn something. To understand and get the meaning of something. You want to make things right and you think that by reading self help your thinking will become much more conceptually clear, your decisions might or might not be always right but after reading self help you often choose the right values on which most of your decisions are based. You choose you metrics and values accordingly once you read self help. That’s what most people love about it. It doesn’t change you but it either brings out the real you from deep inside or it makes your beliefs and thoughts much optimistic than they were before. So the best thing is it changes you without really changing you.
Reason why people love self help
  1. They are not contented with their life and want to figure out a way of enriching their life. They want to find out about all the things they’re doing wrong and figure out a right approach to live their life.
  2. They are seeking success and finding innovative ways to bring out the best in them. The goal of these people is not just living a happy and contented life. These people want all the materialistic stuff as well like money, fame and brand etc. These people try put these books for enriching both their life and general knowledge about being successful.
  3. These people are book lovers. They want to read anywhere and everywhere they go. They just love reading intense books and find self help a good way to enhance their knowledge along with the no. Of books they’ve read. Reading to them is their everything so they love self help anyway.
  4. Beginners like self help and hate it as well. They like self help because self help doesn’t require much visualisation and hence your energy is saved. But some beginners also think that self helps are way too intense for starters and start hating not only self helps but books in general.
The reasons that I mentioned above were about what most people think and believe. What is more important is that these reasons are not a compulsion for all. You might or might not agree to them and that is the sole reason that this is a subjective blog.
I’d love to know which category do you come under.
Self help lover or hater and if so then why?
Thanks
Advertisements

The unfulfilled promise!

The years went by and the pain seemed to worsen,
The tears of hot frustration became nothing but a series of deadpans
All those years under a demeanor so cold and vacant
was a craving heart waiting with boundless patience,
Waiting to be freed by all the hurtful words
Waiting to be nurtured and loved
Waiting for thy who never returned
Waiting for an unfulfilled promise to be accomplished

Book review: Everyone has a story-2

Ratings – 4/5
Genre – Inspirational, fiction, drama
About the book-
This book revolves around the concept of challenges faced by youngsters both professionally and in personal life. This books deals with the regular problems faced by common people and how to overcome it. The story revolves around basically four protagonists who were all very successful but due to the cruelty of “fate”, they all suffered a lot.
This book is a good book to start with if you’re not an experienced reader since it’s easy to understand and is a good headstart towards reading in general. This book, however, also serves the purpose of inspiring entrepreneurs and people who’re not satisfied with their current jobs or find themselves stuck in life.
Reading the prequel of this book is important to get the better idea of the characters of this book however even if you’ve not read the first part then also it’s still pretty easy to understand what’s going on in this book.


Why is entrepreneurship growing nowadays?

We live in an era where self worth and self love holds much more value than pretty much anything in life. People nowadays want to prove their worth and not be just “average”. Gone are the days when being good and average in studies or working at a normal reputed firm were considered as incredible. Nowadays people don’t give a damn about where they work or how much they earn. If they’re not happy and satisfied with their jobs, they tend to often give the job up and do something they genuinely like. No one judges anyone for giving up jobs or ignoring a famous MNC’s offer. Why? Because people care more about their satisfaction and happiness than the money in the bank account. No one can do a single thing without interest in today’s world. People want to work for themselves and be their own leader. They want to scream out their ideas and show their self worth. They no longer crave to be accepted by the society, they want to now show what their ideas are and live them. They want the world to know and remember them as them and not by their company’s name.
Now you might be thinking “okay miss obvious, but why’s that?”
Well it’s because the era of entrepreneurship has emerged. People still want to work hard and prove themselves. They still seek acceptance. But the only difference is that now they don’t want to work hard or prove their worth to someone else. They want to work hard for themselves. They want to be accepted but not by doing what the society requires them to do but by doing what they love and for who they really are.
Entrepreneurs are flooding the market like anything. A little girl of age 13 to an old woman of age 70, all want to work for themselves. Now the question arises, why on earth do they want this so badly? Like why is there such a great popularity for this concept? Here’s a possible explanation-
Independence
When you start doing your own work then you often tend to work freely according to your own will. No one can force anything on you. You’re your own boss and you have no deadline to finish your tasks. You can’t be threatened by the concept of losing your job. Other than all this, you have a sense of pride and self satisfaction since you’re working for yourself.
You might feel overwhelmed sometimes but that’s okay since being overwhelmed serves as a reminder that all of this is not a joke or a picnic- it’s way beyond that -your life.
In the corporate world people are often frustrated if they work at small firms or companies because of the kind of work they’re forced to do sometimes might not match the best of their interests besides they’re overly pressured. All this makes is very convenient for people to switch towards entrepreneurship.
Our choice of clients-
While working in a company you’re often asked, or rather forced to work for people whom you might dispise and you have no choice but to give in. At times the people we work for might not be in good terms with us but since we don’t have any power to make such decisions as who shall and shall not be our clients, we often have to bow our head and work with hatred. We pretty much have a great liberty when it comes to choosing clients. It’s our decision and we can work with complete self respect and happiness when since we don’t have a boss, we work for ourselves.
Encouraged by government-
Nowadays the government wants passionate and happy youngsters full of courage and enthusiasm to be our future. That’s the sole reason why the government promotes entrepreneurship. They believe that if people are self employed then they’re likely to be happier and more enthusiastic about their work and will take their work seriously. Now the question arises that If we work with all our hear and soul then why on earth the government care? Well if you’re working up to your full potential then you’re contributing to the society through financial help and you’re also encouraging people specifically youngsters to work up to their full potential by setting a fabulous example.
No limitation to the money earned-
When you’re working for a company then you might or might not earn according to the amount of effort you put in. You can only earn to a limit. No company will offer you billions of dollars and even if they do, you’ll have to wait till you’re very old for that. When you work for yourself then you don’t have a limit to the money earned. You might earn billions of dollars or not even a penny. It all depends on the amount of effort you put in and a bit of your luck. So even though you have security in your job you don’t have a hand in expanding your horizons. You have stability but not the experience of taking risks when you have a job.
Personal branding-
“Personal branding is the marketing of people of themselves and their careers as brands.” – according to Google.
When you work for a company then you’re a nobody. All you represent is your company. You might be famous for your work but still your company’s name tags along wherever you go. You’re what you are because of your company and you can’t do a thing to change this. You might work your ass off but people will only consider it as a company’s success not yours. Who’s benefited in the end? The person who created the company or the CEO and director is the one benefited. What do you get? A raise in salary or a bit of appreciation. In some cases you might become famous as well. But it’s never only your success. You’ll always carry your company’s name with you when you do something big or small processionally. But when you work for yourself then people get to know you. They understand your importance and treat you than more than just another employ of another big firm or company. You might have the best of qualifications but so do those people who are allums of the same college or school you went to. So what do you have which is different than the others? Why are you better than them? No one will ever know until you show them. They’ll not give a glance in your direction unless you get them to look at you. Being an entrepreneur helps you in this aspect of your life. People get to see the real you and the work in which you specialize in. Now this can be related to the degree you’ve earned or it can be something totally different. Which is what makes it personal branding.
Personal branding means when you can create a brand for yourself. Something which will show people just how capable you are. All your abilities and all about your life will be available to people.
I know that when you are given a chance to be an entrepreneur with absolutely nothing and some branch manager at a company that pays you a handsome salary then you’ll probably choose the job first and think about the other idea later but once you get yourself a job it’s very difficult to leave all the facilities and security that it offers. But that’s what entrepreneurs are all about. They live to challenge themselves and their fates. They don’t know when they might shine and become a star overnight or when they might become broke. But as long as you be yourself and do the stuff you love, the sense of security or enormous salary doesn’t matter. That’s one reason why people nowadays are shifting to self employment from normal jobs. It’s because people like you and me who’re not satisfied with their current posts as a student or an employee want to live their own life and be liberated from the current traditional job scenario.
Entrepreneurs are the people who live for more. They can’t ever be happy in something that’s been imposed upon them. They want to live their own life and be their own boss. They want to work for with people of their kind who have similar interests and aspirations in life.
Don’t think of being an entrepreneur because it’s what most people do nowadays. Be an enterpreneur because you love the feel of it and are willing to do anything to work for yourself and your passion.

The downside of entrepreneurship🙌

Being an entrepreneur is the new swag nowadays. Mostly people want to do something of their own, live according to their fantasy and be their own boss.
But as good and independent entrepreneurship makes us it also makes us vulnerable to certain things that we either don’t know of or we’re unwilling to except it.
So today I’ll be focussing on the negative aspects of entrepreneurship or the challenges you may face while you’re becoming an entrepreneur.
Being less self confident and more unsure –
Now when you start doing your own work like starting a tuition class, mentoring your friends, blogging, or a typical business then you’re often filled with enthusiasm and happiness. You start off by being very positive and optimistic ’bout your ideas. Most of you usually hit off well and tend to be successful. But at some point your business or blog or tuition class etc, might suffer from a loss or you might not be in demand or maybe you might’ve lost public trust. Now these are hard times and often make us question ourselves and our ideas. Every entrepreneur hates these times but what they don’t realize is that this is very important in their lives to give them a reality check of the world out there and the competition that’s waiting for them to make one mistake to outwork and outshine them. The people who understand this and are patient and consistent with their work are likely to learn a lot for both personal and professional gains whereas the people who fail to get the message eventually give up or at least lose their confidence in the stuff they were once passionate about. Losing confidence often leads to a downfall for your work as you’re not just as strong willed as you were when you started working.
Understanding the difference between questioning yourself and losing confidence.
( I wasn’t gonna write about this but it’s very important to get this difference) –
Look questioning yourself is actually a good thing because then you’re questioning your motives and your values again and again which helps you understand if what you’re doing is out of societal pressure or because you genuinely love it. It also keeps you from being overconfident or cocky on your success. It makes you improve your content and quality but if you question yourself too much AND IN A NEGATIVE WAY then it actually makes your way of thinking pessimistic and you start to lose confidence. The only way to overcome this is to correct yourself as soon as you start observing a negative pattern of self -questioning.
Being ready to start over at any given time –
There might come times when the damage to your work is too much because of either your ignorance or lack of your efforts and this may be irreversible. You might not have a chance to make amends and the only option you do see is starting over. Though most people don’t face this kind of situation but if ever for once you feel trapped and you need to start over since it’s the only option left then you first need to analyze the situation and see if you’re ready to do all of the hard work that you did on your first project again without a compromise. If you can do that then the situation of starting over becomes less of a burden as you’ve already admitted that you’re ready to do it all again. But if you don’t think you’re condition (physically, emotionally or mentally) is good enough to do it all over again then this puts you in a very difficult situation.
No one might get your vision
One thing that a person must know while starting a business is that not every one might get your point of view. In fact there might be no one who has faith in you and your ideas. They might all think you’re bluffing and your ideas are useless. But you need to get this through your skull that if you waste your time in convincing people in theory about your ideas then they probably might never get it. Instead, you should work on your ideas silently for a while and when you think that your work is enough to make even one person to believe in you, then you should disclose your ideas and let other people in. There’s no telling that everyone will still trust you and your ideas after you do some work ’cause there’ll always be someone who won’t approve and would in fact try to dismiss your ideas. This is the hardest part to fight since you might want to punch that person who drags you down when you try to get up and prove your worth but you need to calm down and ignore that person and focus on getting more support for your ideas.
Running out of ideas –
Now some people might be in a kind of business where they need new ideas on a regular basis and now matter how good and creative they are, they’ll not always have the best of ideas. Some people run out of ideas due to monotonous and same type of ideas which they use in their business.
Losing interest in your work –
When you become a stable and established entrepreneur then mostly no one wants to take many chances but the fact remains that to be successful and grow, taking chances and having change is inevitable and is probably the best way to prosper. But the fact remains that not everyone wants to take chances all the time. Some of us who have a monotony in the profession might lose interest after a while. Of course passion for the work we do makes us incredibly happy but after reaching a certain point, change becomes necessary and we start being less sure of ourselves. This happens because we start to lose interest from our chosen career path due to the monotony that comes with it daily. But of course this disadvantage is not applicable for all kinds of professions, only for a selected few where variety is less.
Sacrificing personal life-
Now once we start a business it’s pretty obvious that we have to give it our 100â„…, no shortcuts can be taken. At times we get so engrossed In growing our work that we often tend to ignore our personal lives. We tend to forget those happy moments when our siblings used to tease us all the time and we used to pretend to be pissed, when we party with friends or when we make love with our partner. All of this seems somehow less important than all the burden and pressure of succeeding in our business. Being successful in your professional life is very important but you do need to remember that after being successful people want to have a peaceful and happy personal life as well. They want to enjoy their rest of the life with their family, friends and all those people whom they left behind in the process of achieving something. If you truly want success then you need to take care of all these things as well. This is because success without happiness and emotional satisfaction is not complete success. It’s only a part of it.
Now I’m not asking you to care about all of your douchebag friends who don’t give a shit about you. No. That’s not what I’m asking. What I’m saying is figure out who is your friend and who’s not, who is worthy of your trust and loyalty and then spend time with these people no matter what. Because we first sacrifice our personal life to have a professional life and then we are willing to give away anything to have our personal life back in track. Which is really dumb if you ask me.
I’m writing about this only because I believe that if you really want to pursue something in life then you have to know very well what you’re signing up for. You need to understand what are the pros and cons and then take calculated risks. Now I know that entrepreneurship ain’t any conventional or regular profession. It includes several professions and is being self employed and being your own boss. But still this post is very important for people who want to shift from their regular jobs to being a full time entrepreneur.

What are Fake memories?

Hey guys!

Do you know someone who can remember everything or is very confident about his/her memory?

If you do then this blog might hurt the self confidence that person has on his/her memory.

Why?

Well it’s because we don’t quite have a very reliable memory. Now how can I prove this?

Well there is this theory of “False memory”. This theory suggests that you make up stuff on your own and believe it so freaking much that you think that your imagination might be real after all. You start believing that this imagination of yours is in fact a real thing which exists in your memory.

I’ll give you a pretty normal example, I have a neighbor who is terribly annoying and she once asked my mother if my mom had a stomach surgery. Well mom didn’t have one so she obviously denied. But my neighbor either forgot or didn’t believe mom. Be it whatsoever. She started believing that mom had a stomach surgery and on multiple occasions she commented on it. Mom ignored her at first but later, she argued back and said that she wouldn’t hide such a thing. But my neighbor didn’t care, she was reluctant to believe that mom didn’t have a surgery and said “I remember you telling me the other day that you had a stomach surgery. How can my memory be wrong? I clearly remember it.”

Now this was a case of false memory. My annoying neighbor had such strong belief about mom having a surgery that she made a memory about how my mother told that she had a surgery. This is called a false memory.

This was a very small and basic real life example. But this can also be dangerous leading to false accusations and a no. Of innocent people being framed for something they never did.

In fact many of the psychiatrists and psychologists lost their licenses in the 1980s and 1990s. This was because they would often force the patients to “recall” stuff from their subconscious which never existed. This resulted in the creation of false memories.

Hence I believe that your memory can be nearly accurate but it cannot be always correct. So those people who have this overconfidence of remembering everything might as well know that you can’t always remember everything and it’s not your fault if you can’t. That’s the way our memory is. It can’t be trusted much.

Thanks

Your own timeline.

Hey there!

Before I start, I wanna ask one question to y’all.

Have you felt hurt or jealous because your friends are ahead of you (AND I NEED HONEST ANSWERS!) ?

If you honestly think, even a tiny bit “yes” then you’re at the right place. Continue on reading, else you may ignore this one.

If you ever felt jealous of anyone, its because you feel insufficient. You feel as though you don’t have enough. It can be for materialistic things like a car/bungalow or maybe non materialistic stuff like respect/love etc. But you know what? I believe that being jealous is the worst thing you can do to yourself. As by being jealous, you’re actually giving your mind negativity. A ton of negativity. This will slowly make your thinking negative and instead of being all enthusiastic, you start procrastinating and spending a lot more time than you realize thinking about your “peers”, instead of actually working for your goals.

The second thing you should know is, the timeline and societal standards we are asked to live up to, are all useless. These people of the society who make you feel as though you’ve not done enough are as guilty as you are. How? Well you oblige to what they say and do as they want. Seriously? If you ever want anything in you’re life then stop giving a damn about what people say. ‘Cause they’re always gonna say. Besides we all live in different circumstances, even if you’re twins, you still have differences. The members of the same family are a hell lot different. They have the same blood, yet they’re different. Then how on earth can you compare yourself to your peers? They live in different circumstances and avail different opportunities and face different challenges. You practically know nothing about your so called “peers”. You all have differences and yet you compete with each other.

Now I want to put this very clearly, You live in your own timeline and you’re not supposed to follow any other timeline which the society has set up.

There’s no freaking need to be disappointed or jealous because your friends or peers are ahead of you because you know nothing about them even if they claim to be transparent and tell you everything. There are living in their circumstances and their timeline and you’re living in yours.

{Give my Instagram account a visit to know in advance about the topics about which I’ll write.}

arushisinhablogg

Thanks for reading!

Sharing secrets..

Hey guys!
We often are desperate to search anyone, at least someone who’ll understand us and know us. Who’ll love us and keep our darkest of secrets with them, without breaking our trust.
As must as I do believe in true love and strong friendship, I do believe that all these people whom we trust so much are still mortals and normal human beings and Humans make mistake all the freaking time.
These people we hold on to are great and maybe even a symbol of hope to many of you but they can unintentionally hurt you sometimes.
They can understand you and your darkness and mistakes for sure but they cannot live what you lived. They cannot trade places with you. Yet they’ll always probably be careful as to not open those healed wounds.
But if they do unintentionally do that, I.e, disclose your secrets then it’s only gonna be a lot of chaos and misunderstanding. You might forgive the person by being generous but you won’t forget what happened and it would lead to you not spilling your secrets and darkness to others.
Now you’ll say “But that’s good right? That’s what I’m conveying huh?”
Absolutely not.
I’m not asking you to shut yourself up in some sort of invisible cage. I’m not asking you for doing something this terrible. Why?
Because I know that doing this will make you all frustrated and angry. You’ll start being sad and would stop interacting much in fear of being betrayed. You will start bottling up all your secrets inside you and one day, it’ll all explode. And it won’t be a pretty site.
So what do I want?
I basically want to say that you should know the limit. The limit till where you can expose your past and bad experiences. Don’t be ashamed of them but embrace them. Be fearless but be practical at the same time. We all have the secret which we don’t want anyone to know yet we tell those to that certain someone. It really feels good and relieved by telling that secret. But instead of telling that secret to someone, if you write a journal or a diary or maybe tell about it to someone you don’t care about and who doesn’t understand and care about your secret then that’s relieving too and the benefit of doing this is that you won’t give anyone the chance to backstab you, you won’t ever be ditched by your loved one.
If things don’t work out, then also, you’ll be you, the same independent you without the fear of being exposed.

Follow me on Instagram by clicking the link below

arushisinhablogg

My Instagram account will basically give you a headstart as to what I’m about to post and write on WordPress.

Thanks

Is It Important to Feel Uncomfortable to Succeed

Hey guys!

Yes it’s definitely very important to feel Uncomfortable to succeed in almost anything in life. You may be able to reach a certain position in your desired career without much distress and with ease but after that certain point, to grow you need to feel that way. If you however don’t feel Uncomfortable doing something you love that does not mean that you should quit it, it means that you need to work harder and it’s also an indication to tell you that you didn’t put your 100%. To improve from a certain level that you’ve achieved you will feel self doubt, anxiety and demotivated. And trust me it’s not how and when you feel these things, what matters is what you do after feeling all the negativity rise inside you. Do you panic and quit?; Do you sit and wait for things to be okay? Or Do you feel all those things and then motivate yourself again. Look guys, if you’ve been reading my posts and you’re good in judging people then you probably already know that The first mantra of success is having self trust, self love and self motivation. Why? Simple, because no one else will motivate you enough for you to never need motivation again. It’s only you who can motivate you. Sometimes however we feel Uncomfortable and its not the indication of carrying on, in fact it’s a warning to tell us that this stuff is not meant for us. Now what do we do? How can we determine and take action? Well in times like these you should purely trust your instincts. Your instinct is almost always right. Some people don’t have good instincts because of their own doings (I’ll explain this in some other blog), these people should start to question themselves and be completely honest to themselves while they answer.

So I’m keeping this post short and would like to conclude by saying that If you feel Uncomfortable then it’s for your own good, ’cause either you’ll figure out a way to stand out and reach above your limits or you’ll know that what you assumed was your passion is actually not, and this realisation will help you try out other stuff to find your passion.

Thank you!

Get Your Facts Straight

Hey guys!

Long time no see? I know I’m a terrible person for not posting for that long. Anyways now that I’m free and I’m back to my blogger self. I really want y’all to check Instagram blog…well I’m thinking of merging both Mad bookishness and arushisinhablogg on Instagram.

Click the link below:

arushisinhablogg

This society makes us oh so vulnerable at times. Just the fear of being “judged” makes us do things that wouldn’t dream of doing if it weren’t for this damned society. Living up to the society’s standards is not our headache. What we need to think about is our own understanding of ourselves. We need to think about what we want and what we aspire.
I’m still trying to find my true self and have also achieved to do so to a great extent but trust me it’s an incredibly difficult task to actually implement it. The societal pressures are too much to handle and we’ve been accustomed to believe that the society’s belief is more important than our own beliefs about ourselves.

I want to know if you guys want a more elaborate post on this topic. Please tell me either personally on my e-mail or drop a comment.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started